Plan B

"If we had a Plan B, it would have been Plan A"
--Unforgettable line from an unremembered movie


A catbird has claimed the overgrown corner of the yard by the swing set. A Chinese wisteria has been climbing the framework for a couple of years now, despite my best efforts to tame it. It has attracted hangers on as well, including a blackberry. The bramble attracted the catbird who drives off any other birds remotely in the area. Blackberries are among the early- to mid-summer ripening fruits that drive the birds nuts. When I say "ripen", I mean turn red. Red blackberries are to this palate, slightly sour and insipid. It's only when they become that deep purple-black with the intoxicating fruity aroma that I get interested. I used to eat myself sick on them when I was a kid. Little did I know that I was just part of Plan B for the plant to scatter its seeds.

Red fruits are hugely attractive to birds. Hence, cherries, dogwood, magnolia, and holly berries. These trees produce large numbers all at once and the birds swarm to them. I have seen a cherry, red fruits glowing in the woods like Christmas ornaments, filled with orioles, grackles, robins, and who knows what, all gorging together. Dogwood, magnolia, and holly, their berries loaded with high-energy lipids, ripen just in time for the south-bound migrants and I have seen the trees in my front yard striped in only a few short hours by hordes of robins and cedar waxwings.

Blackberries go a slightly different path; only a few berries ripen each day, keeping the catbird coming back for more, ensuring a steady customer. The catbird inspects all parts of the vine, looking for the telltale red berries. Finding one, it gobbles it down and keeps looking for more. In places where blackberries are abundant, like in the woods where I grew up (along the creek by the old leaky buried sewage line...who knew?), birds just can't keep up with the sheer poundage of fruit. This is where Plan B comes in. If the red berries are not eaten, they just keep ripening until they drop off the vine or a mammal, a raccoon, deer, opossum, or ten-year old kid, happens by. Purple, loaded with sugar and smelling vaguely like strawberries, they are definitely a come-hither treat. Enough of the seeds pass through the gut without being chewed (or stuck between molars) to ensure deposition some ways off. Even if the berries drop off the vine, they are sought out by box turtles who have a surprisingly sweet tooth (actually, they have no teeth at all, but you get the picture).

If you can find a trove of blackberries that the birds couldn't keep up with, and the turtles haven't beaten you to, pick a pint or so to take home (what you eat on the spot doesn't count), crush lightly to get the juices going and serve over vanilla ice cream. Better yet, pick two pints and freeze one for later; Summer in January never tasted so good.